Squinoa for Dummies
by Wolf McCloud-123
Summary: Yes, it is sort of like making fun of other authors' 'How to Write' stories, but I liked it. My first FFVIII fic, so please don't be too critical! (though constructive critism is always welcome...) Don't flame me because you want to, either.


Squinoa for Dummies

A/N: First FF fic of _any kind_, I decided to make the Idiot's Guide to Writing Squinoa! ...Or, in a nutshell: Squinoa for Dummies.

Agnus put down her PlayStation controller and huffed; why couldn't Squall and Rinoa have more scenes together! It seemed criminal for them to fight together, her to get kidnapped, and then they only get about ten scenes together!

...Wait... No, no, Agnus isn't that smart.

Suddenly, a large, yellow book with the Final Fantasy VIII logo on it dropped from above onto her head, knocking her down. Recovering quickly, she picked up the book: _Squinoa for Dummies_.

"...What the heck is a Squinoa?" she asked herself. Shifting her eyes around her living room, she walked over to the couch and opened the book to the first page.

_Introduction_

Hello, aspiring fanfiction authors out there! I'm Wolf McCloud, and after taking thought into how many people just _love_ the Squinoa (Sqall/Rinoa) relationship, I put it by myself to write the first in my series of 'for Dummies' fics! Yes, I realize how much I'll be sued, but bear with it.

This fanfic deals with lots of romance (which, unfortunately, is not my strong suite), so listen carefully, because I'll probably forget all about it in a few hours. Now, also, this fic covers the many important steps to writing a romantic story between our _favorite_ couple, Squinoa. Oh, dear, I'm being repetitive, aren't I? Ha.

_Getting Started_

To write a fanfic, you'd need to be an active member of Fanfiction . net, so get going! You don't want anybody to miss out on your marvelous machinations of your mind!

...Whoa, alliteration!

All righty. Er... Presume your name is something such as... Raphaella or... José... You don't want an embarrassing name like that as your penname, do you? Remember all those struggling female authors of the 1800's who used male names to write their sucky romantic novels?

So pick something like... Rinoa Leonhart or Squall's Lover1. That will surely attract a crowd for your wonderful, wonderful fanfiction. That is, presuming you're a _girl_.

_Step One_

You've read at least one book (God frobid it be Harry Potter; that's a horrible outline) in your short life, haven't you? If so, then you should be fine, knowing how the chapters and plot flow.

Example of chapter flow: 1) Starting paragraph, 2) Rising paragraph, 3) Climax! (Note: You can do whatever you want to, as long as you see it fit as a 'suspenseful' addition to your current plotline), 4) Falling paragraph, 5) End of chapter! (Note: Leave cliffhangersit leaves your audience begging for more)

Now that you have the chapter flow down, it's about time you learned about plot flow.

Example of plot flow: 1) Exposition (beginning), 2) Rising action, 3) Climax! (Note: Same as in 'chapter flow'), 4) Falling action, 5) End of story! (Note: Similar to 'End of chapter!', only ends all actions in the story whatsoever)

Now, I realize that not everybody listened back in seventh-grade-English-class, but if you have, think of this as a reteaching of the basics. Just think: If you could master chapter and plot flow, then you'd be the ultimate Squinoa writer!

...Assuming you know _who_ the best Squinoa writer is and you're not totally into humor, that is.

_Step Two_

Assuming your readers aren't all Squistis buffs, let's take this to the next level:

Writing your first chapter!

So, Rinoa Leonhart, where shall your marvelous fanfiction begin? The now-not-flying Balamb Garden? The war-torn countryside that was Deling? Perhaps some wide open field where Irvine has his little butterfly moments, completely unaware of cameras panning behind him to get his first FMV shot in the game?

Wherever you choose, it may be vital to end your story in that exact same spot that you begin it in. Why? Well:

A) It adds to the inevitable romance and drama that will inevitably be in your story.

Come on, you know you wanna have an FFX moment. ...But, just in case you've never played FFX, here's a summary: The game starts out with seven people (make that six people and a big cat-thing) sitting around a campfire. They look exhausted, and sort of sad. A blonde guy stands up, walks over to who we can only assume is his girlfriend, puts his hand on her shoulder, and then walks up to a ledge, overlooking a long-forgotten city of ruins with these rainbow-colored bugs called Pyreflies flying around everywhere.

Right before the end of the game, this is where the characters are angsting about the final step in their long, not-explained journey.

See where I'm going with this?

B) It's romantic!

You could start your fic in the morning, then end it in the evening of a day later than the one you start out on! Come on! Die-hard romanticists love that kind of stuff.

_Step Three_

Now that you've got the setting down, it's time to decide what characters you want in your wonderful story of wonderment. _Of course_ it has to have Squall and Rinoa. It wouldn't be a Squinoa then, would it? No, no it wouldn't.

So, here's a list of characters, just in case you have a short attention span, like me:

Squall: Can't have a Squinoa without him!

Rinoa: Same here.

Seifer: The X-factor for Rinoa; her former boyfriend.

Quistis: The X-factor for Squall; his teacher.

Selphie: The peppy leader of the Garden Festival Committee; looks like that lady from Garfield.

Irvine: 'Best sniper in the Garden'; Selphie's love interest.

Edea/Ultemecia: Evil sorceress; dead.

The extras (Cid; the Trepies) don't matter that much, so I don't intend to write up their classifieds right now. Besides; they weren't in the Instruction Booklet.

_Step Four_

Okay, so we've covered the major story points, so howsabout the extra couples out there? You could have Ms. Trepe threatening to make it a Squistis, or Seifer threatening to make it a Rinfer!

But as for the normal couples, might I suggest: Selvine or a Zelldog.

Yes, you read that right.

It says 'Zelldog.' It's what happens when you pair Zell with a hot dog.

One pairing that I can't help but abhor is... Seiftis... (dramatic music) Or Quisfer. Whatever floats your imagination-boat.

_Next chapter: Covering the basics of the 'chapter and plot flow' system and characters was just the startnow comes your actual first chapter! Plus: The Birth of Zelstis! _

Soooo... How'd you like it? Was it good? Was it bad? Was it horibibble? Please leave a review! (PS: My apologies to Seiftis fans out there! I don't abhor it in any way! Now that I think about it, they make sort of a cute couple...)


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